I came to a realization today, a huge AHA! moment, that I’d like to share with you. It’s probably something I should have learned when I was 10 but 31 isn’t too far behind right?! This may evoke you to think, “I thought you already knew that, Ashley.”
Our level of happiness has very little to do with our circumstances and everything to do with our choices.
Yes, I thought I already knew this. One of the biggest lessons I learned through the survival of my husband’s death was the power of choices. I could have chosen to let the loss devastate and destroy me but instead I chose to let it strengthen me. I determined that my circumstances would not control me. Yes, I still had my down days but mostly I was on top and thriving!
However, once I got married again and my circumstances changed from horrible to wonderful, my mind-set changed too. Once I was no longer in that constant state of woe, I no longer was in that constant state of fighting it. I lost track of my choices. I let go of my control. Once something, someone, was in my life making me happy again I gave up my power and started letting my circumstances control me.
I stopped making goals, thus I stopped striving and trying and succeeding. During my worst days I discovered some things that helped me cop; I discovered a check-list of activities that once done made me feel better. Once I got married again I stopped doing those. I just stopped it all. I fell into what I like to call (okay, I made it up just now) the circumstances-control trap.
I didn’t know that good circumstances counted but they totally do!
Our level of happiness has very little to do with our circumstances, be they GOOD or bad, and everything to do with our choices.
In order to be highly productive, happy people, we must always be conscious of our choices. We must keep our control and use it for good! No matter what we are experiencing, good or bad, we would do best to not become complacent. We need to fight always for improvement and sanity.
Today I started a new list of simple goals I can do everyday to improve. I bet you (a dollar, hehehe) that it will help me! And you can bet that I’ll be writing on this blog again with the results.